30 April 2013

Mama's Day

So this Mother's Day will be my first 'official' one! I had to convince Hubs last year that I deserved at least some flowers or something, being as I was carrying our child at the time. Which makes me think about how much you don't know before you have a baby... Bless hubs little heart but he really couldn't fathom that our sweet little girl was actually in there... Thinking back I can hardly believe it myself. H is starting to develop such personality, I can't believe we made her. It's such a wonder, and such an honour! I absolutely delight in being a mom. It's the greatest pure joy I have ever known.

Sometimes I start to freak out that I don't have a 'career' or that I have 'nothing to go back to' when H turns a year old. See, my parents raised me to value work, to value education, to value contributing to society. And sometimes I get an urgent pang in my chest thinking I'm disappointing them in some way by not pursuing a career outside of my home. Of course I don't really think this is true, and I know that they are happy for me to be raising my sweet girl, any any other babes that make their way into our happy home.

And by the same token, I don't want to get lost in 'mommy-dom' I don't believe this is best for anyone, mama, baby or daddy. While I take the responsibility (not weight) of caring and shaping H into who The Lord is calling her to be, I also know that God has so much more for my life, while it may not look like much from the outside, I want to live the life that God is calling me into; that of encourager, that of friend,that of wife, that of mother, all of these and more. I want to live my life as an example for my daughter to see Christ in me and run toward that, and not get so lost in being her mom that I forget who I am and who Christ has called me to be. This, I truly believe, is the best thing I can do as her mother.

So as this first Mother's Day approaches, I'm setting my eyes on pursuing Christ, and not the pursuit of being the best mom. Because it is only with him and through him that I can find fulfillment.

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